When I was in high school, one girl had a cell phone. It was in her car, and the rest of us thought her parents were nuts. Typically, we called our parents from pay phones and only if we had been in an accident or our cars had broken down. No one carried cameras around, so didn’t take pictures of what we were doing at parties and we didn’t call to say we would be late for curfew. Our parents found out what we had been up to the old-fashioned way, either by confession, from other parents, or from the rumor mill. We found out about our parents problems the same way – they told us they were divorcing outright and we heard rumors about other kids’ parents.
Don’t mistake me, I am not defending the past and I am far from a technophobe. But the past’s lack of easy access to cell phones allowed, perhaps even caused, much to be private that is shared today.
Today’s parents and their children have the gift of close contact. But in return for that gift, we have exchanged privacy and the ability to keep secrets within a small group. This can have devastating consequences to a family law case.
Just a quick look at any so-called “entertainment” website shows just how quickly a couple’s private concerns become public knowledge when unfortunate photographs or posts appear on social media. Although most of us aren’t famous (or worse, infamous!), we still don’t want our families and friends to dig through our private trauma the way the public digs through the tribulations of the Kardashians, the Michael Douglases, or Russell Brand and Katy Perry.
Consider the impact of the following on your custody or divorce case:
- Pictures of your underage teenager at a party with a bottle of what appears to be beer in her hand.
- Pictures of your two-year old son on the back of your motorcycle without a helmet, while you were on the road.
- Comments by your best friend, showing up on your social media site, discussing the “good time we had, you were so drunk!!!!” and dated on a visitation weekend.
- Your new status post, “Looking for a hot man, for hot loving!” posted while you are still married.
Do these seem outrageous? Let me assure you, these and much worse have been seen on social media by attorneys like me, who are asked to defend child custody, child visitation, divorce and alimony cases.
I suggest that anyone considering a divorce or custody action carefully review their social media profiles and disclose that content to their attorneys. Evidence from social media is discoverable and may be admissible at trial. If you have already posted things that might not paint you in the most flattering light, the best thing for you to do is, stop posting and seek the advice of an experienced family law attorney who can assess your situation and help you determine your best path forward.